Category: Uncategorized

Terrible Things Happen on Sunny Days Too

On By Paul MathewsIn Politics, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Morning

A sunny unseasonably warm day in November can imbue a person with an unreasonable amount of optimism. And today – Election Day – is just such a day.

Now I know it is de riguer to describe oneself as “patriotic”, but it’s not a word I feel comfortable applying to myself. Don’t get me wrong. I think America is an incredible country, but I don’t subscribe to the flag-humping, love-it-or-leave-it fervor that is required for membership in that particular club.

Having said that, I am an absolute nerd for performing my civic obligations. And at the top of that list sits jury duty and voting. I am probably the only person in the country that smiles when I get that unassuming little postcard letting me know I’ve been selected to spend some time with my fellow citizens down at the courthouse, and I get absolutely tingly when it’s time to vote.

I take it seriously too. I am not one of those people that shows up in the voting booth and has that moment where they finally connect all the dots between the signs littering every highway, bi-way and front yard and the names on the ballot. I do my homework. I pay attention to national and local elections. I care who wins. In other words, it’s kind of a big day for me.

I walked out of the house that day ready (and eager) to vote. Without delay, I headed to the local library that serves as my polling station and cast my vote…for her…Secretary Hillary Clinton. I did it because she was the most qualified. I did it without hesitation. And then I went to work.

Before walking into the office, I quickly perused Facebook and Instagram on my phone and found a picture my wife had posted. It was a picture of her and our daughter smiling broadly (and proudly), each of them festooned with “I Voted” stickers.

my-girls

I welled up a little bit, as is my custom from time to time (that time having started when the birth of our daughter let loose all sorts of “feelings” that had long laid dormant). I immediately regretted not having driven to the polling center together. I looked at the photo several more times throughout the day – it made me smile every time.

Today was going to be a good day.

Evening

We had planned to meet some friends for dinner and then return to our house to have some drinks while we watched the election results roll in. My aforementioned nerdery made this a normal routine for me anyway – I had watched coverage of each of the four previous elections into the wee hours of the morning.

By the time we got back to the house, polls had closed in most East Coast states and results were starting to be reported. My prior experience told me to not to worry too much when early reporting states like Indiana turn red. It’s just what they do.

Obviously, things took a turn. Watching Secretary Clinton eek out a win in Virginia, struggle and then lose states like Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvania, told me there was trouble. Going into this, I knew that it would not be a runaway, but I was confident that when all was said and done, the map would have just enough blue to get us across the finish line.

Needless to say, I was wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Our friends left  when it became clear that it was going to be a long night. My wife, who is normally asleep by 10 hung in until after midnight. I watched until the bitter end.

The Morning After

I slept poorly and not enough. I felt wrung out and a little dazed when I woke up. Not because a Republican had won the election. No, it was because Donald Trump won the election. I don’t think he is a real Republican. I don’t think he is anything that predictable. I hope that he is not as crazy/awful/careless/hateful as he seems. I hope that it was all rhetoric to fire up the support he needed to win this very weird election. I am uncomfortable with not knowing what to expect.

I didn’t realize how bad things were about to get.

I am fortunate to have in my life an incredible collection of women that are intelligent, strong and impressive in ways I will never be. They are family, friends and co-workers. And it wasn’t until the morning after the election that I realized how much I wanted this for them. How much I wanted this for my wife and daughter. I wanted the world to acknowledge what I have long known – that there isn’t a job on this planet that should be out of reach for a woman. I wanted that, and I can only imagine how much they wanted that. I could see it in their eyes today. They were reeling. We were all reeling.

And then I thought again of that picture of my smiling wife and daughter fresh out of the voting booth. Now it feels like a gut punch.

I have no doubt that the time will come when there will be nothing novel about a woman running for the presidency. I am sorry that day isn’t today.

 

A Defense of Comic Sans

On By Paul MathewsIn Uncategorized, WordsLeave a comment

For the uninformed, uninvited or uninitiated, there is a long-standing and deep-seated (and I dare say wrong-headed) hatred of the Comic Sans font. I can’t explain it, nor do I participate in it. But it is most assuredly out there. Don’t believe me? Well then take a gander over here:

Ban Comic Sans

Kill Comic Sans

Seems a bit harsh, no? Why all the animosity? Seriously, for some folks out there, the most vile and villainous things that have ever existed are as follows:

  1. Hitler (specifically)
  2. Nazis (in general)
  3. Anchovies (another item deserving of defense)
  4. Comic Sans

Frankly, I don’t get it. It is as well meaning a font as exists. It means you no harm. Walk with me, will you?

History

We can all thank Microsoft designer Vincent Connare for Comic Sans. Apparently inspired by some of the comic books lying around his office, Mr. Connare set to work creating Comic Sans in 1994. By 1995, Comic Sans MS (it’s official name) had become a part of the standard font set available in most Microsoft products. And since then, the world has been a better place. Hard to argue that, so don’t bother.

A Defense

I think it was Charles Dickens that first coined the phrase, “Haters gonna hate.” And this is a classic case of hateration. Comic Sans is a font dedicated to something that the world just needs more of – whimsy. I think we can all agree that you can never have enough whimsy. I know that whenever I am making my grocery list, and I yell to my wife, “Hey, do you need anything from the store?”, she always responds with, “I think we’re out of whimsy.” So I buy more. I like to keep the house chockablock (it’s a word) with whimsy.

And it’s not like there are other fonts out there trying to pick up the whimsy slack? Seriously, Times New Roman? Garamond? Verdana? And don’t even get me started with Chiller and Wingdings? They are pretenders to the throne. Long live the king!

Seriously, a world without whimsy is nothing but a vast, bleak dystopian hellscape, where parents feed on their own children. If you want to live there, move to Detroit. If not, strap in and embrace the glory that is Comic Sans.

Thank you Mr. Connare.

 

Guns go bang.

On By Paul MathewsIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I’ve been trying for a while to decide what I think about the recent gun control debate. I want badly to have an intelligible and reasonable view on gun control.

I have friends that support any and all gun control legislation and drape the moniker “gun nut” liberally over anyone that owns a gun. And I have friends that think the mere mention of gun control is tantamount to digging up each and everyone of the founding fathers and farting in their corpse mouths.

Chances are, they are both wrong.

Full disclosure: I didn’t grow up around guns. I’ve never fired any weapon more substantial than a BB gun. I don’t own nor have I contemplated owning a gun.

I don’t oppose their existence, and I don’t have a problem with reasonable people owning them. In fact, I believe that people have a right to own a gun or guns if they choose for protection, hunting, target practice, rodent suppression or any other damned thing they want to do with them, so long as they don’t get around to pointing them at those of us that choose not to partake. I don’t believe that that right is god-given, a birthright or anything as fancy as that. A gun is a commodity, and this is a free-market economy.  And, for the most part, a gun is only as dangerous as the meat sack attached to it.

And therein lies the problem. A lot of guns end up attached to the wrong meat sacks: felonious meat sacks, crazy meat sacks, dimwitted, gullible and wrong-headed meat sacks. So how do we keep that from happening?

People that are against guns will typically say that we need more gun control laws in place. Many of those people could not tell you what gun control laws are currently in place. They just know that we need more. Maybe we do need more laws or better laws or maybe we need more consistent enforcement of existing laws.

For example, there is a “gun show loophole” that seems confounding to me. I will say that I have heard too many statistics bandied about regarding how big this loophole actually is to believe any of them specifically. That being said, if we require background check for any gun purchase, why not every gun purchase? If you allow for an opportunity for the wrong people to acquire guns, seems reasonable to assume that they would utilize that method. Why make it easier for them?

Gun control laws are not the answer. They might be part of the answer, but laws, for the most part, are helpful in prosecuting criminals after the fact. As a general rule, people with bad intentions are less inclined to be hindered by things like rules, laws and regulations.

Gun advocates are fond of using an ultimately flawed comparison between cars and guns. It goes something like this: Cars are responsible for more deaths each year than guns, but no one is trying to take your car away. That’s true, but the automobile industry is one of the most heavily regulated industries on the planet. Many of these laws include minimum safety standards required to put the car on the open market (seat belts, airbags, etc.). Why not focus our attention on making guns safer or better yet useless in the hands of the wrong person?

We are a nation virtually awash in technology and gadgets of every kind. Why not put that to use for a purpose more advanced than managing a virtual farm or hurling ill-tempered fowls at their porcine rivals? For example, there is technology that exists today that can prevent anyone other than the registered owner (the guy that passed the background check)  from firing the gun. In the wrong hands, it basically renders the gun as little more than a blunt object. I don’t think it is crazy to suggest it is a lot more difficult to pistol whip 26 people to death before the authorities arrive than it is to gun them down. Why don’t we work toward making this technology mandatory for all newly manufactured weapons?

Why stop there? Armed police officers in schools? Yes, please. Expanded data in the database used for background checks? Sure! More gun safety programs? Yup. Prosecuting felons for attempting to buy a gun? Of course. Improved mental healthcare in this country? Hell yes.

A little bit of common sense all around would go a long way.

Oh, and one last thing…

Doomsday Preppers: You are terrifying. Your bunkers and your body armor and your stockpile of food and what can only be classified as an arsenal are like buying stock in the apocalypse. You are so heavily invested in an apocalyptic scenario that you are hastening its arrival. There is an old saying that says, “One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it.” I can only think that one does not build an arsenal without planning to use it. Be skeptical of your government. No problem. Keep them honest. Call them on their shit. But some of you appear ready to turn on your mailman (clearly a government agent meaning to do harm to you and yours).

Chill the fuck out.

Who is the PassiveAggressivist?

On By Paul MathewsIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

It is time to introduce you to your author. His name is, well, unimportant. What is important is what he represents. He is the embodiment of rage quelled, of fury extinguished, of wrath checked.

Where did the name of this blog come from? My wife, of course. I was trying to explain to her that I am a pacifist. Her reply:

You’re not a pacifist – you’re a passive-aggressivist!

I am not alone. In fact, you know me or someone very much like me.

  1. The PassiveAggressivist curses in front of children and immediately denies it. Don’t worry, they aren’t your children (they are).
  2. The PassiveAggressivist honks at bad drivers but quickly looks away to avoid eye contact. In reality, he only honks if he suspects the other driver is a woman…and old.
  3. The PassiveAggressivist has strong feelings about your taste in movies and music. And he thinks very little of you as a result of these feelings.
  4. The PassiveAggressivist disapproves of your lack of professionalism and accordingly writes tersely worded e-mails to the department at-large with language that could not definitively be linked to your behavior.
  5. And most importantly, the PassiveAggressivist deals with his anger by writing this blog.

You’ve been warned.